Many of the topics I teach and blog about are things that I have pondered and researched for many years. Often, after so much time processing my thoughts, I develop some clear beliefs about what is best with regards to the topic under consideration.
This topic isn’t one of them as I’m not sure what to believe about it.
Back in the earlier days of my career I had mentors and experts talk about the importance of completely disconnecting when going on vacation. They would say that you need that time to really disconnect and refresh your batteries—both physically and mentally. This seemed to be the going wisdom when I went home at night, too. I was taught to “leave work at work.”
One of my mentors even suggested that one week away wasn’t long enough for an effective vacation. He believed it took a week to fully disconnect. Two weeks would allow a leader that week to disconnect and then full week of actually being on vacation.
I never did the two-week vacation, but I almost always did a good job of getting away and not thinking about work. This was pretty natural for me, and I appreciated that mentors and experts both seemed to support it—at least with their words, if not their actions.
But things may be changing.
It is so much easier these days to be connected—or maybe better said, it’s so much more difficult NOT to be connected. How many of us go home at night and fully disconnect? I suspect very few. Being connected has become part of the fabric of our existence. When I’m at work, I’m still connected to those I love at home. When I’m at home, I’m still connected to those I serve at work.
So the question in my mind is, “Can a healthy vacation include being somewhat connected to work?” I’m beginning to think it might be possible, but maybe I’m fooling myself. What do you think? Is it possible to be somewhat connected to work and also to clear out the time and space needed for self and family?
On recent vacations I’ve looked for times that won’t keep me from being present with my wife and others. I use that time to take care of simple emails and questions. I find this allows me to engage with my family pretty fully and have a reasonable re-entry into work when I return, rather than be overwhelmed with hundreds of emails when I get back. Knowing I’m not falling so far behind at work seems to reduce some of my stress about returning to a deluge of work, which doesn’t stop because I do.
I don’t know if this is healthy or not. I plan to ask our team what they think, and also be open to any of your comments. I suspect the answer might not be the same for each of us. Maybe it depends on our makeup and the needs of our family and friends when we’re on vacation together.
I hope you had a great week last week, either because you had a great vacation (and maybe aren’t reading this posting because you’re overwhelmed with emails) or because, like me, you stayed in town and had a really productive week because so many people were out of town.
Either way, lead well this week!
Rodg
Image by longhorndave. Used under CC BY-2.0.
In the end, I think this issue really is about managing expectations. If you’re so indispensable to your organization that it needs you to be continually connected and immediately responsive (as in, “I texted you 15 minutes ago and you still haven’t responded. What’s wrong with you???”), then you’re likely headed for a “red X” moment. (Lead 365 graduates will know what I’m talking about here.)
While that level of expectation and reliance upon you may make you feel indispensable, highly valued, and secure in your position, it is also an indication that you may personally be micro-managing, refusing to delegate, and refusing to train/mentor others in your area of strength or expertise. It’s an indication that you’re not in a very healthy living system.
I believe that most knowledge workers should be able to take a week off, without anyone expecting them to “check-in” AT ALL. Yes, things will “pile up.” Yes, the individual may want to schedule an evening or two to work late and try to “catch up” the week they return. But, work items should never be so urgent and systems should never be so brittle that the absence of one person for a week results in system failure.
On the other hand, if the individual experiences more stress from disconnecting entirely than what they’d experience by checking in once or twice a day, then by all means check in — with the clear understanding and support of those with whom you’re on vacation.
If you must check in, a best practice is to do it at a regular time each day, and for a limited duration (say, five or ten minutes, maximum). Find a time when it won’t be disruptive to those you’re vacationing with. For example, first thing in the morning might work, as part of a routine of getting up first and getting coffee, orange juice, and breakfast rolls for your significant other. You slip out, go to the nearest breakfast nook, check your messages, and then get breakfast. Another option is when they’re taking a mid-afternoon nap, or reading a good book on the beach. Just make sure you abide by your commitments – both in terms of frequency of checking in, and duration.
Happy vacationing!