Back when we taught at your team-building retreat we talked about the Eight Characteristics of a Great Team. Can you remember any of the characteristics? (I’ve listed them all for you at the bottom of this post if you want a reminder.)

One of them is trust. When we mentioned trust we may have spoken about Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust, and briefly unpacked some of his concepts about what makes someone truly trustworthy.

A few years before his book came out, I had developed the components that I believe are needed to have full trust in someone. I had been wrestling with this ever since 2002 when The Five Dysfunctions of a Team came out, and Patrick Lencioni pointed out that most teams don’t trust each other well enough to be fully functional. But he didn’t really unpack what trust is nor how to build it.

By 2005, thanks to several insights I picked up from thoughtful leaders, I’d developed my own version of the components that make up a trusting relationship, of which there are five:

1. Character: Can you trust this person to be honest with you? Can you trust him to mean what he says and say what he means? If yes, then he will have trustworthy character from your perspective.
2. Competence: Can you trust this person’s ability to deliver the results she will need to produce? If so, she will have trustworthy competence from your perspective.
3. Commitment: Can you trust that this person will do whatever it takes to keep any promises he’s made and that he will follow through in a way that is honoring to you and others? If so, you can trust his level of commitment.
4. Alignment: Can you trust that this person understands the world in a similar way that you do? This is the trickiest of the five to understand. Here’s an example that seems pretty relevant right now in our society. If you think that government needs to solve many of society’s ills, and I think that government should be as small as possible, then we will be misaligned if we work on solving some of these social ills together. When one or more of our key beliefs are not aligned, even though I might completely trust your character, and your competence, and your commitment, I might not be able to fully trust you because we aren’t aligned in a key belief.
5. Communication: Can you trust that this person will keep you in the loop regarding pertinent information? Also, can you trust that she will listen to your perspective when you try to share it? If so, then you will be able to trust this person from a communication perspective.

Any one of these components can negatively impact one person’s trust of another. It’s worth noting that if the lack of trust is in the character realm, then it’s a more serious issue than any of the others. Not trusting someone’s character is very difficult to overcome without some serious leaning into healthy conflict.

So those are the five components of trust—but where do the five fingers come in? One day, as I was wrestling with these concepts, it hit me that I could connect each of these components with each of my five fingers as a way to remember them. Maybe it will also work for you. Let’s give it a try:

• What finger comes to mind that might symbolize character, or maybe lack of character? For me, as a memory trigger, it is my middle finger. Someone who flashes that makes me think they lack character.
• What finger might symbolize commitment? For me, that’s an easy one: my ring finger, which is where a wedding ring goes to symbolize commitment.
• What finger might symbolize alignment? Again, for me this seemed pretty simple: my index finger. This is the finger I use to point in a direction and I can use both of my index fingers to point in two different directions, thus symbolizing different alignment.
• What finger might symbolize competence, or maybe lack of competence? For me, my little finger might be the least competent of all my digits. It is the shortest in length and also in strength, and while not having my little finger would be a true handicap, I think it it is the one that has the least competence.
• This leaves only one component and one finger left: communication and the thumb. Thankfully, there is still some symbolism that works for me in this connection. My thumb can easily touch all of the other fingers—no other finger can do this. To me, this is like good communication, which allows me to connect with others.

So there you have it. Maybe these thoughts will be helpful to you as you work to build trust with others. Maybe it also helps you to become clearer about why you might not have full trust in someone. Let me know if you have any questions or additional insights about this.

Thanks for being a LEAD 365 kind of leader this week!
Rodg

PS – And here are the Eight Characteristics of a Great Team:

1. Common Goals
2. Commitment (to the goals and to each other)
3. Communication
4. Trust
5. Knowledge of self and others
6. Talent
7. Chemistry
8. Grace

Image by CJS*64. Used under CC BY-ND 2.0 license.